Saturday, January 13
What a Canadian Celebrity Big Brother might look like
"...who among us, be honest, doesn't harbour a homegrown Celebrity Big Brother fantasy cast? I shuffle my lineup almost every week. (I recently added Myriam Bedard and dropped Michael Ignatieff.)
"Mainstays include: Adrienne Clarkson (for storytelling around the fire); Douglas Coupland (for instant cool insights into the experience); Spenny from Kenny vs. Spenny (needs to break out on his own); Ralph Klein (unless the rumour is true and he is tagged for CBC's Dancing with the Canadian Stars); e-Talk's Tanya Kim (by all appearances, half a beer away from naked trampolining); The red-haired quirky gal who's in all those commercials (seems fun; somebody to root for); The Bountiful, B.C., polygamist Winston Blackmore (the requisite Lothario); And worldy wit Mark Steyn (for snark, game strategy and, on drunken nights in the hot tub, wicked anecdotes about real celebrities).
"Sometimes I stare at the blank TV screen and see them all wrestling in Kraft Dinner..."
***
I literally shuddered just then, didn't you?
My American readers don't realize that everyone up here knows who the "red-haired quirky gal" is, because there's some kind of Canadian union law that only 5 actors are allowed to be in TV commercials during any given era. Right now it's her, one of The Illustrated Men, and The Fat Guy. A few years back, it was the Tall Balding Guy with the Moustache, the Dude with the Pockmarked Face, and both McGraths. Don't ask me why.
"Mainstays include: Adrienne Clarkson (for storytelling around the fire); Douglas Coupland (for instant cool insights into the experience); Spenny from Kenny vs. Spenny (needs to break out on his own); Ralph Klein (unless the rumour is true and he is tagged for CBC's Dancing with the Canadian Stars); e-Talk's Tanya Kim (by all appearances, half a beer away from naked trampolining); The red-haired quirky gal who's in all those commercials (seems fun; somebody to root for); The Bountiful, B.C., polygamist Winston Blackmore (the requisite Lothario); And worldy wit Mark Steyn (for snark, game strategy and, on drunken nights in the hot tub, wicked anecdotes about real celebrities).
"Sometimes I stare at the blank TV screen and see them all wrestling in Kraft Dinner..."
***
I literally shuddered just then, didn't you?
My American readers don't realize that everyone up here knows who the "red-haired quirky gal" is, because there's some kind of Canadian union law that only 5 actors are allowed to be in TV commercials during any given era. Right now it's her, one of The Illustrated Men, and The Fat Guy. A few years back, it was the Tall Balding Guy with the Moustache, the Dude with the Pockmarked Face, and both McGraths. Don't ask me why.
